The holy turtle – The book.

Once up on a time, not too long ago, people were still wondering why we were alive, how did we came to live. But then, the wondering stopped when the answer was found! An answer that is universal to all and applies to all different walks of life. An answer so great it can only be summarized by turtle. This is the answer to all your life's questions. The one and the only answer.

The word of our findings quickly spread through out the land of iscribble. People from all over the land came to look at our finding first hand. Non had ever seen such an answer to all there questions. And all left satisfied. Their questions finally answered. The almighty turtle is the answer! Even for you!

Chapter 1 – How humans came to be

Before the beginning of time, there was nothing but the holy turtle. A Turtle that was so awesome it created itself! The Turtle has the size of roughly the size of 400 billion light years.  The Turtle was bored, he felt like doing something. Something that only he could understand. As He let out his fart a fart that unleashed the shit storm called the “big bang” by some. The planets erupted from the Holy Turtle’s ass. And thus the universe was created. By will of the great Turtle the earth was created. First cellular entities were created and they quickly started to evolve. Plants, fish and animals started to roam and grow on this world. The first dinosaurs started to roam. As a testimony to himself the holy Turtle created what is now know as the turtle. Evolution went good for a  while. But eventually the Turtle intervened when he was bored again, whipping out most dinosaurs. He wanted to control the evolution a bit more. He created the apes, which he eventually changed into the first humans.

Humans roam

After the creation of man, the Turtle created the image of a god. To see how the humans would evolve thinking there was a higher power. He had several idea’s to what a religion should be, so He created several. To see which one in the end would rule all. Watching the humans fight over who’s religion was best, the Turtle realized his mistake. He tried to unify the religions by making them very similar, but still both sides thought there side of the same story was better. He sought to dissolve the problems made by religion. He tried to erase his religions from the humans minds, so they would finally see that the gods from the religions were fake ones. Still the silly humans would not see the fakeness of their own gods. In a last attempt to remove religions out of his world The Turtle invented humanity and the ability to invent things to humans. He wished to free the minds of the humans, so that they can find their own path, instead of following His path. Some humans started to disbelieve their gods, they were the first with a free choice in life. The choice to follow which ever path they wanted to take. Some came up with their own silly religion. An event not expected by the Turtle, who expected that the humans would be happy free of all religious doctrines.  To make the people realize that there is no such thing as a god, and that no religion is true, he tries to outline his story by creating his own following, who in its turn will spread the truth throughout the world! A story that sounds odd at first, but after some reconsidering is unanimously accepted as the truth. A truth which is, deep inside us, know as The Truth. The truth of the Turtle. The one and only creator of the life, the universe and everything.



Chapter 2 – The ideology

The Holy Turtle is like most turtles, slow in speed, peace loving and kind hearted. He knows he can’t desire of you to move as slow as he does, but he does wish that you would be kind to the world around you, all animal species including humans and of course plants. He doesn’t whish for anybody to fight, He wants the world to be in peace, just like the rest of the universe. The Turtle lived centuries before we started to live, and will live centuries after we have lived. When He came to be all around him there was nothing but peace and silence. Because of the peace and silence, because he had no enemies the turtle did not need quick reflexes, so he became slow.  His thought process got slower as well, but the slower it got the more thorough it got. He rarely made a mistake, only ones did he make a mistake. He created dinosaurs and let loose evolution. His one mistake was quickly rectified, taking control again.

So what does our Turtle want? Peace, so he can think clearly, love, so we can be peaceful, kindness to other, to help the love come easier, common sense, so that you can think for yourself and think through your actions, own initiative, so that you are more then a mere follower of the crowd, and for your happiness, found in your way in your time. The Turtle has nothing but the best in mind with you. Even better, He doesn’t need you to do hardly any effort. He understands that you can’t always be happy. But understand this, give love to receive love, be kind so that others feel like being kind to you as well.